Finding a starlit path

About the future

The room is bare, like someone just moved in. Empty frames that I recognize from IKEA are hanging on the wall on one side of the room. It is not what I expected it to be. I am seated at the table looking at the ample, white, jihadi beard on the eccentric man across from me. I instantly like him. He is about to tell me my horoscope according to Vedic astrology, and I feel very excited.

The only thing Mystic Man know about me is my exact date and time of birth. He run my digits through what I guess is a computer program and proceeds to print a paper full of numbers and information about where the stars have been, and will be, in my life.

Mystic Man drops so many incredibly accurate statements within the first minutes of our conversation that I forget my healthy scepticism. How, how how HOW does he know, is a thought that will run through my head more than once during the time we spend together. And as I go from being impressed about his ability to talk about my life as if he knew me, I start to feel empowered to ask questions about my future. He actually answers with dates. “In June you’ll move, but it’s not to your dream house it is more of a necessity. Don’t worry, there’s a much better move coming up in October 2018.”

Can you believe it? I can’t believe it!

I recorded the whole session on my phone, and of course I took mental note of the important upcoming dates. But before going back to the recording, I first took time for myself to scribble down what stroke me as important, things that felt like an insight. Of course, the skilled future tellers are great at reading the person who’s asking. They may have knowledge about stars or tarot symbolism, but they are (in my opinion) often very good at picking up subtle information from the client.

For me, it is like having an external person validating what you know in your body but may or may not know in your mind. By allowing myself to react to his statements, I get a sense of what I want and where I might want to go. As with all things in life, I may change my mind, or unforeseen events may interfere with the path I’ve chosen. But it did give me immense pleasure to hear how my life might turn out.

We all have different ways to deal with the uncertainties of the future.

Wanna try it for yourself?  Visit Johan at Veda Aurum.*

*I am not sponsored, and I take absolutely no responsibility for what future you might get.

Waiting for life

About finding purpose.

She sat alone in the kitchen, unexcitedly poking her breakfast porridge whilst staring out the window at the river. The sun was playing across the gentle river ripples and it was yet again one of those absolutely gorgeous days. Cold, but stunningly beautiful. Nature changed colours by the minute these days and the sun was like a gigantic community fire in who’s warmth strangers huddled, telling each other what an amazing autumn they had this year.

The clock above her head ticked loudly and she knew it was showing a time well beyond her “normal routine”. This set of activities performed at a certain hour was supposed to give her a sense of footing and normality. Strengthening her body and mind, directing her creativity and will, becoming a platform for what she wanted in life. But this morning she had gently given them the finger right after turning off the alarm. And now she felt guilty.

She also felt bad about having eaten cinnamon buns for dinner last night, and watching a movie instead of finishing reading the book for her university course. But it was something else that kept scratching at her soul. Guilt is a sticky feeling. And it can be relatively easily redeemed by action. So she new that there was something else going on underneath. That was why she wanted to turn on the radio to drown out the ticking silence, and as she had always chosen flight over fight she wanted to go out running. Run away from herself. But she stayed in the kitchen, not turning on the radio, staring out the window, slowly eating her fiber-spiked porridge.

She thought of that poem that asked if you’ve ever been waiting for the popcorn to pop, wishing something, anything, life, would happen. She had herself been waiting for a little while now. Trying to be patient with herself for not knowing, for not having a clue, and for changing her mind about a million times per day. There was not a lack of adventure, or time for self-reflection that was missing. Those were gems of life she somehow always had been able to find and polish. But there was that nagging feeling of something not yet started. Something missing. She was waiting.

It was driving her nuts. Waiting. Pacing in stillness. The more she thought about it, the stronger the feeling grew. There was something she had not yet found or started on. She saw Big Words flash before her eyes, surrounded by small but much more hurtful comments. Career. Family. Legacy. do something, must, be someone, should, die alone, just pick something, has to, make up your mind, what are you waiting for.

The clock on the wall was ticking really loud. And she could also hear the clock from the living room ticking as well. A third of a second after the kitchen clock. What am I waiting for? she said out loud, sighing. And much to her surprise, she got an answer.

From somewhere in the house, maybe it was the upstairs neighbor, the sound of a saxophone could be heard through the uneven clock-ticking. Someone was practicing music. She had her own, hidden, one-person-orchestra, playing for her. Outside the sun was shining. She held a warm cup of coffee in her hand.

She realized she did not use routine as a way to find stability and purpose in life. She used it to get a sense of control. To force predictability into life. So that she could stop waiting and start preparing, and excel, naturally. Good girl!

Now, with a rather free-spirited life, and a squirrel-like-soul that finds treasures and opportunities everywhere and all the time, she concluded she really just had to let go and enjoy the ride. The grand finale, our final destination, and the end of all waiting, is death. And as death was her least favourite part of living, she could just focus on life itself. There is just no point in waiting, when there is so much wonderful life going on.

I love the menu covers at Seniman, Bali Indonesia.